Tuesday, 19 April 2016
GET YOUR WIFE A SCHOOL UNIFORM
Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow….. ….. We are living in a generation where people who are “in love” are free to touch each others private part but are not allowed to touch each others phones because they are private…. ……. Sometimes you look back on girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum, you realise that witchcraft is real…… …….. If you’re a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform………
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
A guy met one of his school mates several years after school and he could not believe his eyes, his friend was driving one of the latest sleek Mercedes Benz cars. He went home feeling awful and very disappointed in himself. He thought he was a failure. What he didn't know was that his friend was a driver and had been sent to run errands with his boss' car. Chioma nagged her husband always for not being romantic. She accused him for not getting down to open the car door for her as her friend Mary's husband does when he drops her off at work. What Chioma didn't know is that Mary's husband car had a faulty door that could only be opened from the outside. Tobias' wife went to visit one of her long time friends and was very troubled within for seeing the 4 lovely kids of her friend playing around. Her problem was that she had only one child and have been struggling to conceive for the past five years. What she didn't know was that one of those kids who was the biological child of her friend had sickle cell and had just a year to live, the other three were adopted. Moral of this is that: Life does not have a universal measuring tool so create yours and use it. Looking at people and comparing yourself with them will not make you better. If you know the kind of load the chameleon is carrying you wouldn't ask why it takes those gentle strides. Enjoy what you have!
WILL YOU DO SAME IF YOU ARE THIS BOY
Mother: Son I'm sorry I slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago. And that person is your real father. Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this?! You should be hanged. Mother: I am sorry, he was my first love and I could not marry him cause we are of different religions. He is on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first time ever. Son: No I am speaking to no one. Mr Alani is the only father I know and so will that be. Mother: Please don't be so upset. Just talk to him. Son: Ok, I will give him a piece of my mind! Phone: Morning Son, I am Mallam Aliko Dangote. I am your real father. Son: Daddy! Daddy!! Daddy!!! Thank God! I always knew there was something special about me... Thank you mum. Will you do the same if you are the boy?
7-Names you dont want to give your child in nigeria
Firstly, this is Nigeria and there is the need to carefully review the kind of names we give our children. We are a nation with a deep rooted belief for culture and value. While many people prefer to give their children foreign names, many people do not want to lose touch with the culture we have tried to preserve for years.
That being said, there are some indigenous names you dare not name your child in this present age and day. Not only are these names bastardized, they have become a subject of ridicule amongst people. Some names in Nigeria depict stupidity and go on to portray the bearers of such names as people who are not smart and are naturally silly.
It should be known that the names you give a child go a long way in that child’s future. A child named after wealth could become immensely rich people would start to marvel at his or her success. Give a child a name that means bitterness and you would be surprised to see that child goes through trials and tribulations all through his life.
Without wasting much time, check out some of the names you may not want to name a child in Nigeria:
1. Akpos
Please if your wife is expecting a child, do not include Akpos when you are compiling names to give that child. Akpos have become the joke of the century in Nigeria and is being used wildly in the entertainment world.
People who bear this name are so dumb they could hardly make sentences that are filled with good points. This character may stick to your unborn child as he may never be taken serious.
2. Sule
This name has Islamic background. Many Nigerians now use it when they want to mock people. A person being called Sule may not necessarily have that as his original name but then it means the person is not smart or intelligent.
Calling a person that is aimed at making him or her know he is acting silly or actually silly. If you go on naming your child that, don’t say we did not warn you.
3. Alice
This is the name most maids bear in Nigeria. We are sorry if that is your name but then, we are sure you would not want to name your child that too. Moreover, the name is becoming archaic so why bother naming your daughter that? Or do you want your child to become somebody’s maid in the nearest future?
4. Ekaette
This is a Calabar name and if you are familiar with people from this part of Nigeria, you would know they are wonderful cooks. There is really no problem giving your daughter this name if you have dreams of her becoming a cook.
Most of the girls portrayed as Ekaette are not just good in the kitchen; they have an added advantage when it comes to bedroom skills if you know what we mean.
5. Muri
This is a bit sad as we have a hero with the name Muritala. Yes we know people are trying to make the name sound more ‘Behind’ by coming up with ‘funkified’ versions of it. But forget that, Muri would always be Muri in Nigeria. And you definitely do not want to be called that or make an innocent child go through the agony of being mocked.
6. Dejo
This is a popular character in the Yoruba film industry but you do not want to have a child named that. Like all the other names mentioned here, this name has a meaning and it is rather unfortunate that the beauty of this name is being replaced with chronic stupidity.
Call your son Dejo and watch people add ‘Tufulu’ as the suffix.
7. Okoro
This is an Igbo name but people generally believe that a person called this has to be bald or someone with receding hairline. Why do you want your child a name like that? But then, you could ignore this and wake up to see your hairy child bald. Please do not go challenge your mother in-law abeg oh!
That being said, there are some indigenous names you dare not name your child in this present age and day. Not only are these names bastardized, they have become a subject of ridicule amongst people. Some names in Nigeria depict stupidity and go on to portray the bearers of such names as people who are not smart and are naturally silly.
It should be known that the names you give a child go a long way in that child’s future. A child named after wealth could become immensely rich people would start to marvel at his or her success. Give a child a name that means bitterness and you would be surprised to see that child goes through trials and tribulations all through his life.
Without wasting much time, check out some of the names you may not want to name a child in Nigeria:
1. Akpos
Please if your wife is expecting a child, do not include Akpos when you are compiling names to give that child. Akpos have become the joke of the century in Nigeria and is being used wildly in the entertainment world.
People who bear this name are so dumb they could hardly make sentences that are filled with good points. This character may stick to your unborn child as he may never be taken serious.
2. Sule
This name has Islamic background. Many Nigerians now use it when they want to mock people. A person being called Sule may not necessarily have that as his original name but then it means the person is not smart or intelligent.
Calling a person that is aimed at making him or her know he is acting silly or actually silly. If you go on naming your child that, don’t say we did not warn you.
3. Alice
This is the name most maids bear in Nigeria. We are sorry if that is your name but then, we are sure you would not want to name your child that too. Moreover, the name is becoming archaic so why bother naming your daughter that? Or do you want your child to become somebody’s maid in the nearest future?
4. Ekaette
This is a Calabar name and if you are familiar with people from this part of Nigeria, you would know they are wonderful cooks. There is really no problem giving your daughter this name if you have dreams of her becoming a cook.
Most of the girls portrayed as Ekaette are not just good in the kitchen; they have an added advantage when it comes to bedroom skills if you know what we mean.
5. Muri
This is a bit sad as we have a hero with the name Muritala. Yes we know people are trying to make the name sound more ‘Behind’ by coming up with ‘funkified’ versions of it. But forget that, Muri would always be Muri in Nigeria. And you definitely do not want to be called that or make an innocent child go through the agony of being mocked.
6. Dejo
This is a popular character in the Yoruba film industry but you do not want to have a child named that. Like all the other names mentioned here, this name has a meaning and it is rather unfortunate that the beauty of this name is being replaced with chronic stupidity.
Call your son Dejo and watch people add ‘Tufulu’ as the suffix.
7. Okoro
This is an Igbo name but people generally believe that a person called this has to be bald or someone with receding hairline. Why do you want your child a name like that? But then, you could ignore this and wake up to see your hairy child bald. Please do not go challenge your mother in-law abeg oh!
who talk true
Hahahahaha!! I just can't stop laughing. This
is the awkward Truth About some husbands.
A group of men gathered at a church
conference on how to live in a loving
relationship with their wives. The men were
asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All
the men raised their hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the last time you told your
wife you love her ?" Some men answered
today, some yesterday, majority didn’t
remember. The men were then told to take
their cell phones and send the following text
to their respective wives: I love you,
sweetheart...
Then the men were told to exchange their
phones so one can read the other wife's reply
to the love message.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Have you impregnated someone again
2. That was then, not now
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you
this time.
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is
actually for, you will die today!
9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.
10. Abeg na who be this?
is the awkward Truth About some husbands.
A group of men gathered at a church
conference on how to live in a loving
relationship with their wives. The men were
asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All
the men raised their hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the last time you told your
wife you love her ?" Some men answered
today, some yesterday, majority didn’t
remember. The men were then told to take
their cell phones and send the following text
to their respective wives: I love you,
sweetheart...
Then the men were told to exchange their
phones so one can read the other wife's reply
to the love message.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Have you impregnated someone again
2. That was then, not now
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you
this time.
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is
actually for, you will die today!
9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.
10. Abeg na who be this?
lets laugh a little.
Three business associates, an Igbo man, a
Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat
lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.
While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in
through the window. It flew across the table
to where the Igbo man was but he just
waved his hands to chase it away.
The fly then went to where the Yoruba man
was, he also chased it away.
Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese
man was and was flying close to his ears. The
Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime
and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and
swallowed it.
The other men saw this but just kept on
eating.
About Five minutes later, another fly came in
and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased
it away again.
It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time
he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for
sometime and then grabbed it. He then
turned to the Chinese man and asked "how
much you go buy am?"
Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat
lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.
While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in
through the window. It flew across the table
to where the Igbo man was but he just
waved his hands to chase it away.
The fly then went to where the Yoruba man
was, he also chased it away.
Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese
man was and was flying close to his ears. The
Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime
and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and
swallowed it.
The other men saw this but just kept on
eating.
About Five minutes later, another fly came in
and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased
it away again.
It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time
he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for
sometime and then grabbed it. He then
turned to the Chinese man and asked "how
much you go buy am?"
GROWING CUCUMBERS IN BAGS FILLED WITH SAND
Hello everyone,
I recently began a sack farming project to see how possible it was to grow cucumbers in sacks. I'll like to announce that it was a successful endeavour. For those who don't have land to farm on, you all have no more excuse. It's as easy as just putting soil (which is free) in a sack and that's it. I thank all the agric, vegetables and cucumber lords of this forum. Una don try and una still dey try.
I recently began a sack farming project to see how possible it was to grow cucumbers in sacks. I'll like to announce that it was a successful endeavour. For those who don't have land to farm on, you all have no more excuse. It's as easy as just putting soil (which is free) in a sack and that's it. I thank all the agric, vegetables and cucumber lords of this forum. Una don try and una still dey try.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)